Hey guys ,MankyMind here or Dedu or whatever .As always , i wanted to write a long ass journal explaining the reasons i was inactive this year but as i finished writing it, i realised that there is no reason to post it so i deleted it and now i will write the key parts and a conclusion , so let's go (but before, i am sorry for any grammar/vocabulary mistakes but i haven't used English the last months so yeah...)
So , reasons i don't post anymore here :
1-This year i signed for marketing lessons and at same time i work at a local store as the administrator and programmer of the store's e-shop and social media .Plus since the new year i am sick the whole time , i don't know if it's my immune system or whatever but there wasn't more than a straight week when i was not ill the last 4 months and additionally to all that my mother was diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago and now she is in hospital and today she will get her second surgery while i am here taking care of my 6 year old sister ...so yeah apparently i don't really have much free time in my hands , but gladly there are people who i met that sort of help us through all that
2-I don't see deviantart as an "art-site" or a "art-community" anymore since it isn't , no mater what the name or the content of this site is ,DeviantArt is nothing more than a poorly designed social media .
3-I didn't stop drawing but i don't find anything of what i created so far was upload-worthy.BUT i really love the name "MankyMind" so i will not abandon this account and i will start to upload art here again but i have no idea when this day will come i think to start uploading here my tattoo designs and keeping it more as an "easy-to-access-portfolio" but this will take some time (because of reason 1 and 4)
4-The last few years i was investing into my art the most i could as i found it an important part of my life and myself ,this made me and my art to evolve into some directions and somewhere in those directions i got lost and got lost with the reasons of why am i doing art .But thanks to the last events , mainly my mother's cancer , i remembered the reason i started art . and that reason is one of the most ancient and simplest reasons of them all .I am doing art because of money and that's it , i have to accept it , the rest emotional bullshit is nothing more but bullshit .I mean , if i want to do something that will make ME feel happy and it will be for my personal joy , i just can go and have sex or just fap .... i mean i get more pleasure and personal joy from eating a plate of lasagna rather than spending hours or even weeks on a single piece of art, destroying all the patience and self esteem after erasing and redrawing over and over again all of my mistakes just to realize that there is even more things to be improved .So yeah, from now on i will be drawing what sells and since most of it will be 18+ i will not upload it under this name as i want to keep it "clean" for my future personal works.There is nothing wrong in doing something you love/like/enjoy/or at least sympathise, for money ."Doing it for money" is a pretty good reason to do something , you just have to accept it
Well that's pretty much it , in conclusion , well i dunno ... If you want to "unwatch" me i don't mind , feel free to do so , i understand. Also a small advise ,don't let others guide you , do your thing, DO WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS RIGHT FOR YOU TO DO .ignore the rest , cause in the reality ,NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!!!!!!There was a bunch of guys living their lives ,knowing everything and being always right as they were a part of the "high-society" .Wanna know what happened to them ?! They sunken in a ship called Titanic (some dudes even made a movie about it ,dunno if you have heard of it) All this people telling you what to do and what not to, telling you that you will never succeed , that you will never achieve your dreams ,or that you have to stop being a who you want to be are just a bunch of poisonous toxic wastes that do nothing worthy with their lives , they lost their paths long time ago don't let them drug you down to their misery lives .Keep on ,move on , do your thing or keep on searching for your thing cause that will mean that you are still alive and not just a walking bunch of meat .
Love you all and i haven't forgot anyone of you(the ones i was lucky to meet here) , thanks for all the great time we had on this site .See you all (soon i hope)